trust

I love the idea of the new year. I think it is a good reminder that we can always start from scratch again.  Although, a new year doesn't have to happen for change.  I feel I am starting this week fresh and renewed, yet a little bit scared of what this year may bring.  I have no idea what God's plan is for me (like any of us do) and not knowing or having the control worries me.  This is a trust issue.  Which comes to the question... why do I have issues when it comes to fully trusting Christ?  He has never failed me nor left me, and He clearly states in His word that He won't.  It is in writing... and I still have these issues.  I know the changes I need to make to fix this.  When I have full trust in Christ the fear, worry, hopelessness, etc. is gone. I am tired of fearing and worrying about my future, it is exhausting.  I am ready to fully trust in Christ again. 


I have several "resolutions" that I hope to follow through with for the entire year. Although, I don't really like the term "resolutions," we are just going use it.


1.  Send every preschooler a birthday card.  Who doesn't love mail?  What preschooler wouldn't want a birthday card (even if they can't read)
2.  Talk to my family more and work on my relationships with my extended family.  There is a lot of bitterness towards cousins, aunts, and uncles.  (there is no need for that)
3.  I'm trying to focus more on the big picture and details of the more important things.  I have always focused on the most unimportant things that, to me, seemed important.  (This is a matter of recognizing what is really important)   
4.  Develop a deeper relationship with Christ.  (something that I should always be working on)
5.  Quit mumbling.  I am doubting my capabilities to be able to fully quit mumbling, but I definitely want to try. (This will take all year)


I welcome all jokes. I know I will get some, and I will be able to handle them.  But I am also asking in your support to keep me accountable for these "resolutions."  Most people do, but I am asking that you will continue that through this year. 






(haven't edited this and won't until morning. i feel like i posted some deeper thoughts (although maybe not that deep) then i have in awhile. read know. i may realize i don't want to share this with everyone and get it to myself, like i do most things.)