war in my blood...

As I sit here on a very comfortable couch in the dark I am starting to realize how amazing family is. Not that I didn't realize this before, but I am realizing how much more I would rather be with my family then friends. I still love my friends and want to hang out with them, but it's not the same as spending the afternoon with your parents and siblings. I don't mean for this to sound corny, that's the last thing I want.

So it's official I am back in the land of Chick-fil-A, bad drivers, and constant road work (aka Mississippi). Am I glad to be back? I would be lying if I said completely. Yet, I would be lying if I said no. I started to like Louisiana, but I think the like was because it was so close to St. Louis (the land of great concerts, fun activities, and great shopping). I am thinking about moving there after graduation, but that won't be for another three years.

Just to be clear, I am excited to get back and see everyone. I miss you all a lot and I am ready to hang out again. I did just fine on my own though, like I know I would. I knew I would like it and it would be a good summer, I don't need anyone to tell me that, actually please don't tell me that.

I think I just changed my mind. I don't want to move into school, I don't want to start classes, and I don't want to live in the dorms. Right now I just want to spend my days sitting in this chilly apartment, sitting on the couch and just think. Sounds lazy doesn't it. I don't mean to sound lazy, but I'm not quite ready to start that life again. I pray that will change before Sunday.

I don't really know what else to say. I am in this really weird funk (I don't really like to use that, but it fits for now). Not quite sure I am ready to be around a lot of people right now.

Rebekah, this is just for you. I love you and cannot wait to see you this weekend.

"You can tell what you trust by the things that you fear."

be here now...

As I sit here and count down the days (on two hands) until I leave I realize that I don't want to go back to Mississippi. Don't get me wrong I miss everyone there (some way more then others) but do I really want to go back? Not that I want to stay here, but this would have been the perfect time to transfer to that dream school in a big city that I always wanted to go to. No worries, Rebekah, I am headed back down to Mississippi the 16th. I hope no one takes this the wrong way, but I am realizing I am comfortable leaving Mississippi, whenever the chance arises.

Wizards of Waverly Place is probably one of my favorite Disney shows. Selena Gomez's character is really funny, and in some ways just like me. Not going to lie that I am excited about their movie coming out later this month (yes, I will be watching it.)

The Jonas Brothers concert was awesome. It was so much fun and they did an awesome job. There stage was incredible, of course, they are the Jonas Brothers. Allison and I had some really good sister bonding time, I am really going to miss her. We also got to sign there tour bus... how cool is that!

So I realized that I probably should start packing to head back. Ugh. I am a terrible packer, just awful. I am hoping I can be a better, organized packer this time. yeah.. right.

Oh, my sister thinks "Benny and the Jets" is sung by Benny and the Jets... It's really funny. And, I am slowly convening her that she has rabies... it's so much fun.

Friday is my last official day at work. Honestly, I am kinda sad, I am going to miss it (well, some of the people). I am really going to miss Phyllis (she was so kind and answered my 2 billion questions I asked her each day), Sue (she took, or I transferred, all of my impatient, annoying, rude, calls and she took care of them for me), Margaret (she paid me each week, need I say more), Brenda (always, always, always so sweet to me), Robin (always said hey and asked me how I was doing when she walked by), Colleen (she would just come up to the front and visit me sometimes), Joliyn (she would apologized for the know-it-all client who came in one day), Debbie (she was so kind, even still after the many times I bugged her). I really have grown to love most of the employees at Stark Bros. They are really hard-workers and I don't think they realized that I am going to miss them.

I am ready for a new start. New roommate, new friends, new school year. This will be a fresh start.

Had a really good conversation tonight. Pretty sure it's going to make coming back much easier.

Lot of people spend their time just floating

We were victims together but lonely

You got hungry eyes that just can't look forward

Can't give them enough but we just can't start over

Building with bent nails we're

Falling but holding, I don't wanna take up anymore of your time

Time time time